Fidelity Bites the Dust: Finding Love on the Road, Take Two
I’m Nora Dunn, and I’ve been a digital nomad since 2006. Expert on long-term travel, personal finance (as a former CFP), remote work, and lifestyle design. If there’s a high-adrenaline activity, I’ve probably done it. Weird food? Eaten it. Former shaman’s apprentice. Always an actor/singer/dancer. Professional speaker. All that. And more…
67 thoughts on “My Sordid Attempts at Finding Love on the Road”
Hey Steve, Although partners (or at least, compatible ones) can be hard to come by on the road, you can take comfort in the fact that there are more and more people taking to the road – either in retirement (like you), or with their businesses/jobs (like me). And it’s also worth noting, that although I’ve had a few strikes in the love department along the way, I’ve also had 5 solid relationships in the last 10 years, which isn’t a bad track record! Also, I’ve rarely actually felt lonely even when I’ve been without a partner. So wander on, my friend. Wander on!
Hi Tim, I love your definition of a career break – a break from travel to work on your career! Ha ha! As I wrote about in my article Breaking Up While Traveling (which I wrote/linked to in the aftermath of “Take One” above), travel accelerates the natural progression of a relationship, given that traveling with somebody means living together 24-7, and often in times of stress and change. So it stands to reason that you and your wife have a rock-solid relationship as a result of making it through those times/challenges! Also interesting to see if you two end up hitting the road again, and if so, how it will be different. Keep me posted! ??
Well, this seems to be the millennial way of doing things: travel and then what? It seems to me you have no sense of direction, really. Where do you see yourself when you’re 60? Still traveling? How about retirement? Children? A husband? You’ve seen all these countries, but so what? What’s it to the rest of us? Where’s your contribution to the world? In fact, it seems others are funding your travels. You do realize how impractical what you’re doing actually is. Maybe you’ve had luck, but that may not be the case for others. Who can actually just up and leave like that?
My more specific values – NOT having kids and putting a even bigger strain on Earth’s resources, NOT becoming like my parents and staying in a lonely marriage for the sake of not being alone and fulfilling societal ideals of ily. I would rather be alone and happy, rather than be married and unhappy.
That sums up the absurdity of your thinking. Also, you accuse me of generalizing when that’s what you’re doing. So, if, say, my idea of happiness is a $1 million, then that somehow becomes another person’s nightmare. You make motherhood seem as a woman’s worst nightmare. This is what gender feminism has done–polluted the mind of women into thinking they need no one and nothing, and that free-spiritedness is more fulfilling than the biological imperative.
I am a guy, I met a girl in , who already traveled the world for an entire year at the time, she is still traveling in north Africa as we speak. We stayed with each other off and on in the last year or so. We love each other very much. The very recent trip with both of us was an 8 day across continental U.S. from Midwest to Pacific Northwest mid June, followed by a four week travel to China, end of June and beginning of July, where we both originally from. The travelling with her was such an enjoyable experience with very little issues, such as not able to find a camping ground the first night when we arrived at Yellowstone, but was resolved at the same night with us driving 20 minutes away from the park. In July, I traveled back to Pacific NW, my new home, for work and we since separated, she went on a world tour starting in .
Amen to compromises, even better if “the compromises required are worth it”. It is a state of mind for both parties in a tight relationship to decide. Weigh them, make a decision then commit. Is it possible that in the future it won’t work out? Is it possible it will become tiring for both parties over time? Yes and yes.
The way i look at it, if God had created women like the old days when most women were very old fashioned and real ladies which would’ve made love very easy to find for so many of us single men still looking today. Women today unfortunately have really changed since the past, now that so many women just can’t accept many of us men for who we really are anymore. Women have become very independent, very high maintenance, selfish, spoiled, greedy, picky and very money as well since it is all about me, me, me, the way they act now. Lets not forget the ones that are real gold diggers these days too. And many of us men aren’t single by choice either.
However I’m going to push back on “compatibility” a bit….it’s not about being with somebody who has a similar personality – it’s about being with somebody who has a similar LIFESTYLE. For me, I’ve decided that the most compatible partner is somebody who is able to work remotely and likes to travel long-term. Am I open to meeting somebody who doesn’t fit this? Sure. But if I’m going to actively search anywhere for a partner, I’ll be searching in this group of people first and foremost.